by: Dian Enfinger
(Lamar & Dian Enfinger, Mobile Assistance Missionary Program)
This letter is in memory of my twin brother, James Keith Iles, who passed away on April 23, 2012. For those that have not heard my story of how God gave me a peace beyond understanding during this time, I want to share what happened one year ago.
A Disturbance In My Soul When God, In His Time, Showed Me His Grace
On April 23, 2012 I woke up very early in the morning. I felt a little panic. I was feeling I couldn’t get enough air. I got up and went into the living room (of our RV) and started walking the floor. I started talking to the Lord and let Him know that I felt like I was gasping for air. He said to me, “are you breathing?” I said, “yes, but it seems like I am struggling, and I feel panicky.” I continued to walk and pray and then felt like the walls were closing up in me. I asked the Lord, “What is happening?” He said, “Look at the walls.” I did and sure enough they were where they were supposed to be. I walked back and forth and prayed and then felt that I should sit down at the table and read my Bible. As I read my soul started getting more relaxed. And then I felt that I should write my brother, Keith, a letter. I then wrote Keith a four page letter letting him know what we were doing and how everyone was. I felt so close to him and really poured my heart out in the letter to him. Now I was beginning to have a more relaxed state of mind. I prayed some more and then went back to our bedroom and lay down with my eyes wide open. God wasn’t through talking to me yet…I still wasn’t sure what this early morning was about, but as I thought about the events that had happened, I just kept trusting our Lord and asking Him to help me know what He wanted.
I must have drifted off as I heard the alarm go off. I woke up and got ready for the day. I was very refreshed and amazed by the thought of so little sleep, but that I felt fine. Thank you Lord for the fellowship with you even though I am not sure what it was all about. After breakfast Lamar and I went to the devotional room in the kitchen of the camp. We all take turns with devotions. There are three other couples with us at this project where we are volunteering, and this morning was Lamar’s time for devotion. Lamar gave a devotion on what we have planned in our life and that sometimes God changes that plan. We try to do what we believe the Lord has us doing and then He sometimes leads us in another direction. Our plan was to finish this project then head for our next project in Indiana.
Now as the men left for work we ladies went back to our RV’s and got busy. I soon received a phone call from the New Orleans Police Department. They informed me that my brother, twin brother, James Keith Iles, had passed away. I hoped I thanked them for their tenderness in the way they let me know but there was a blur of emotions. This was so unexpected. I called Lamar and he came home right away and a flood of tears began. I was so thankful that Lamar was there for me. After accepting the truth about what just happened we started making plans to close up the RV and head to New Orleans. Keith may be gone but we believed we had responsibilities to do in taking care of his stuff in his apartment and prepare to have a memorial service in his front yard and most of all share the Gospel with friends of his in New Orleans. What an opportunity we had there. We did this a couple of years ago when my younger brother Michael passed away in the same apartment.
Arriving in New Orleans we helped, cleaned and invited the people that knew Keith to his memorial service. It was held Saturday the 28th of April, 2012, in Keith’s front yard.
Thanks for your prayers and if you are still awake reading this long note Lamar and I thank you for taking time to read it and we do appreciate all of you. We are doing fine and just want to be used of the Lord. Proverbs 3:5-6.
P.S. How wonderful it was for the Lord to get my attention, the panic stage, and talk to me and let me have that special time with Him and my brother early in the morning. I believe Keith was telling me good bye and he would see me later in Heaven. I thank God for this time. God is our Comforter in times like these. What more can I say. I am blessed with a peace beyond measure. Though saddened much by losing my brother I believe he is in Heaven. It was his time. One day those of us that know Jesus Christ as our personal Savior will meet again in Heaven. We hope you know Him. The Bible says in Acts 16:31, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved.”